A recent article in the Lexington Herald-Leader outlines what it says are the "Eight things no one ever tells you about divorce." As our Los Angeles divorce lawyers reported here recently, the new year often brings a spike in the number of divorces. We encourage those contemplating divorce to discuss their options with qualified legal help before announcing their intentions to a spouse.
Divorce is a life-altering event. Education and information are power. Some people never fully recover their quality of life or financial well-being in the wake of a poorly executed divorce.
1) If you are parents, you have a relationship with your ex forever: This is true. Only a former spouse has no obligation to do as you say or to act as you would act when it comes to the interests of the children. If it is not in a court document, if it is not mandated, and if you are just counting on good sense, you could be in for a lot of trouble. An experienced child custody attorney in Los Angeles can help make sure your divorce and child custody agreement is comprehensive. This can also reduce the chances of hard feelings or contention when issues arise down the road.
2) Divorce starts after you sign the papers:Know what you are signing. Understand the agreement. Know what restrictions you are agreeing to, because they could last for years, or even decades.
3) Every other weekend is a blessing for custodial parents:You are basically a single parent now. So often, a divorcing parent will make arrangements or arguments regarding child custody through the lens of their current experienced. An experienced divorce attorney can frequently help you grasp future challenges and avoid some of the common pitfalls.
4)You lose a lot of friends in divorce: This varies by case. Certainly some friends are going to revert back to original loyalties. But you may be surprised. Certainly leaving the dirt in your attorney's office or in the courtroom is a great start to maintaining friendships. Beware social networks like Facebook -- where posts can have the same impact as gossiping in person. When it comes to social networking, a great rule of thumb is to not post anything on there that you would not be comfortable answering for in court.
5)The courts do not care: Yes and no. The courts have a job to do and a busy docket full of divorcing couples with your problems. If you are looking for sympathy -- if you are counting on a ruling to go your way because of a tale of woe -- you are going to be really, really disappointed ... and probably angry. Experienced legal help and sound legal arguments are your best when it comes to fighting for your rights.
6) Money is always an issue: No-fault divorces in California and an equal division of property are nothing more than legal theories. Property valuation, what counts as a marital asset, child support and alimony can all conspire to leave divorce one-sided. On top of that, you are now a family with twice the expenses and half the income. And minor missteps by you or your spouse can lead to a damaged credit rating.
7) You and your ex have personal lives: If and when either of you finds a new partner, that person may have an uncommon amount of say in your life, via your children or other remaining ties.
8) You will get a second wind:Those who have sought proper legal guidance will have the best chance of coming through a divorce with the tools to begin rebuilding the life of their dreams.
Los Angeles Divorce Attorney Mitchell A. Jacobs has dedicated his career to representing clients in all divorce, child custody and family law matters. He has been a Board Certified Family Law Specialist since 1986, a distinction obtained by fewer than 1 in 200 California attorneys. Call (310) 472-7979 to discuss your rights.
